Two weeks and counting

Wow.  Here we are, two weeks from my surgery.  How is that possible?  Fourteen days ago I was barely coherent and being pumped full of drugs.  In fact, the only solid recollection I have of that day is wishing I hadn't had the surgery.  I was so sick and so miserable!  Thank god for Joe - both that day and now, he's been far more amazing than I deserve, especially considering our current situation (I'll get to that in a bit).  Now it's been two weeks and I'm amazed at how things are changing.   Im down 34 pounds from the day I began writing this - THIRTY FOUR - thats so amazing to me.  I can already fit into old clothes and my pants are starting to fall off.  I'm still taking lovenox for blood clots and to give it I have to pinch my stomach and inject the needle (I have brand new sympathy for my diabetic friends).  This morning,  I noticed I have less stomach to pinch, which was very cool.  It's little things like that that get you excited,  help you keep going.  Today has been kind of crappy stomach wise.   I haven't been able to keep anything down, liquid or solid.  My friend Beth had told me about this, but I am totally over it today.And the only thing I want is a sprite or a ginger ale, and neither are options because I can't have carbonation.   Funny the little things you take for granted,  like sprite when you feel junky.   It all falls back to changing behaviors,  little by little.  It's amazing to me the habits you don't realize you have until your entire life is changing - like drinking soda for an upset stomach.   So much of my life is changing this year,  in major,  frightening ways.   As some of you know,  I've been married 14 years,  and it hasn't always been the best thing - for either of us honestly.   Well, next Monday,  my divorce will be final - which is why I say Joe has been far better than I could have ever asked.  I am one of the lucky people that has been able to keep my best friend even while losing my husband,  and I am so blessed by that.   I can honestly say I wouldn't be able to do this without him.  He checks my meds, makes sure I eat,  stayed with me in the hospital,  encourages me at the gym,  and that's just the start - he's been amazing and I will never be able to thank him enough.  Another huge event is my oldest will be starting high school this fall, and it scares me.   If you have children you know exactly how I feel.   Mykayla is smart, kind, loving, generous,  and stunningly beautiful.   I don't say that because I'm her mom,  I say it because it's the truth - Pipyre Jeaux is pretty and pixyish, Ms. Aeowynn is cute, and my Mykk is breathtaking,  she always had been.    Unfortunately,  she is also built like me.   She is tall and curvy,  she will never be tiny like a cheerleader.   She's very unique, right now half her head is shaved and the other half is purple.   She likes to write and act and is an amazing artist.  She's one of those rare people that makes the world a better place just by being in it and I am so honored to be her mom.  Anybody that gives her a chance and gets to know her will have a friend for life - but that's what scares me,  people don't usually give her a chance.   Like I said,  she's built like me,  so she's bigger - she's not really heavy, but she's tall and has a bigger frame, and she has been teased since second grade.  We actually moved her schools,  twice,  because of bullies.   I'm worried that will get worse for her in high school.  She just wants people to like her so I'm afraid she will either try to change who she is,  or she will start fabricating stories about who and what she is (which is what I did) and that is never good.   And,  since the surgery,  I find myself freaking out more about her weight, and I don't want to do that either - I don't want to make her ashamed or self conscious,  I just want to spare her even some of what I went through.   That's part of why these changes I'm making are so important.   I need her to follow my example now on how and what and when to eat - I need all of them to.   That's what keeps me so focused, if I can keep my girls from some of the pain I dealt with because of my size and in the process help them lead longer, happier, healthier lives, than all of this is worth it.  I've rambled enough for now.   Thank you for listening.  Until next time,  stay happy,  stay healthy,  and stay safe ♥♥♥