Hi everyone. I know I am behind on my blog and I know I promised an update, but today is not the day for updates. I will have my weigh in tomorrow and I will post again then - we will talk about weight checks, my latest surgery, bra shopping, going to the gym again, and so much more; but that is for tomorrow. Today, for me is a day of remembrance. A day to embrace my children and my life and thank god that I have them to hold. Today, I remember Tristan Patrick and the amazing woman she was....it is the only way I know to honor a life that was taken far too soon.
We all have those friends, those amazing, perfect friends that complete our lives. The ones that you can go weeks, even months without talking to and then pick up the phone and it's like you were together yesterday. They are closer than friends, even best friends, they are a part of your family, a part of your heart and soul and life - that is my LouLou. Lou and I became friends almost seven years ago, in a training class for our new job - and we took an instant dislike to one another. She was "old" and opinionated and set in her ways, and I was a young punk, a totally obnoxious pain in the ass - we were oil and water, and that was how we treated each other. We fought constantly until it all came to a head one night before a major inspection. We had been grating on one another all night, tension was high, we were getting busy, and all hell finally broke loose. We screamed, things were thrown, I ultimately walked out (thank god Susan was looking out for me and I didn't lose my job). When I came back something had changed between Lou and I, it was like we had found some middle ground, some understanding, and it was the beginning of a life changing friendship. From that day on we were always together. We smoked together, we hung out, we talked all of the time, we took on projects together - and as we grew together we began to get to know, and love, each others kids. That was how I met Tristan.
Tristan was still a kiddo when Lou and I became close. She was becoming a young adult, barely a teenager, and starting to stretch her wings - and push her limits. Lou and I closed the restaurant together almost every night and the phone would always ring exactly at closing - and I always knew it was either Trissy or Michael. I would joke that it was Louana's answering service after 8:30 pm :). I would answer the phone and there was Trissy, looking for her mom. She would always take a minute to ask how I was, how my day was, and how our shift was going, and we would chat before I got Lou for her. When she came into the restaurant she would seek me out and run up and just hug me, no matter how bad my day was she always made me smile. I can remember times when she and Lou were fighting and she would show up and try and get me to side with her, to get her mom to stop being so strict, to give her more freedom. She was always so full of fire and spirit, you couldn't help but love her. When her older sister got sick, it was Trissy that called me so I could meet the family at the hospital. The first time I saw Tommie, Trissy came in with me and I watched her transform in front of my eyes into both an adult and an angel. She stroked Tommies hair and told her how much she loved her and needed her. She talked about all of the things they would do and see and experience, Tommie just had to get better first. She told Tommie that she had to get better, that she and Lou and Ash and Michael needed her, that it wasn't her time yet and their family wouldn't be complete if she wasn't in it. You could feel Trissy's spirit fill the room and Tommie's vital signs responded to it - it was like Trissy was giving her some of her will so she could get better. That was just who Trissy was. She was a shining star that lit you up from the inside out. I am not saying Trissy was perfect, of course she wasn't. Part of her spirit and her fire gave her a fierce streak, and she helped use it to try and hide her pain. She could push her limits and strike out, she didn't always make the best decisions, she would take her anger out on those she loved the most - but who among us hasn't done that? Ultimately, Trissy was a beautiful, amazing tribute to her mom and to their relationship. She was strong, kind, smart, loving, beautiful, giving (I think everybody that knew her got a gift from her), gentle, generous, fierce, there are truly not enough words to describe just what an amazing young woman she was. And now she is gone and the void that she has left is palpable.
As I sit here and read the tributes to her on Facebook I am struck by the number of lives she touched, the sheer amount of people that are better because she was in their life. The truth of it is, no matter how short your journey with Trissy was, the imprint she left on your soul will never fade. So, tonight, hug your children, your mom, your best friend, whomever, one extra time - make sure they know just how much you love them. Hold on to each moment of your life, experience it, love it, enjoy it, because the next isn't promised to you. Take a part of Tristan with you from this moment on, and pass her on to those you meet. Smile at a stranger, hold the door open for someone, sing happy birthday to somebody you love (or don't even know), let your light shine as brightly as Trissy's did, so brightly that it touches everyone you come in contact with and brings them to a better place. That is how we can honor this life that was taken too soon, that is how we will keep her alive. As I said, tomorrow will be the time for updates, today is my day to remember my Tristan and to thank god that I got to share part of her life - I know I am better for it. Thank you for remembering her with me. Until next time, good night, stay safe, and thank you for listening.
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